<!DOCTYPE html>
<html>
<head>
<meta charset="UTF-8">
<title>A Hand to Hold by beifomg</title>
<style type="text/css">

body { background-color: #ffffff; }
.CI {
text-align:center;
margin-top:0px;
margin-bottom:0px;
padding:0px;
}
.center   {text-align: center;}
.cover    {text-align: center;}
.full     {width: 100%; }
.quarter  {width: 25%; }
.smcap    {font-variant: small-caps;}
.u        {text-decoration: underline;}
.bold     {font-weight: bold;}
</style>
</head>
<body>
<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29853363">A Hand to Hold</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/beifomg/pseuds/beifomg'>beifomg</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>TOMORROW X TOGETHER | TXT (Korea Band)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Brief Denial of Feelings, Can be an AU or not, Choi Yeonjun-Centric, Feelings Realization, Hands, Just a drabble but I hope you like it, M/M, depends on you</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-03-05</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-03-05</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-15 23:48:18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>878</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29853363</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/beifomg/pseuds/beifomg</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>And isn’t that the thing about love? Yeonjun wonders. He wants to know it like the back of his hand, hold it like it’s proudly his. And he thinks... he just thinks that when he looks at Soobin, the warm feeling that permeates his chest is want. It’s true, Soobin has a heart full of love. The boy is love himself, and Yeonjun thinks that’s the reason why he’s so, very easy to admire. When he looks at Soobin, he wants Soobin to look back.</p><p>He wants Soobin to love him back.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Choi Soobin/Choi Yeonjun</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>44</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>A Hand to Hold</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Yeonjun was never sure what love felt like.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Nothing used to come up in his mind’s eye when the topic of romantic love was ever mentioned around Yeonjun. He knew it shouldn’t have mattered by then, but he was still curious. From what he’s seen in TV series and movies, he thought love depended on the person you were in love with. Was it nice? Was it cool? Was it always supposed to be that abrasive? That scary? He used to not know and was perfectly okay with that. He was very young and had all the time in the world to eventually find it out himself, seek it out and learn it. He didn’t really mind, he thought to himself.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Until.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The thing is, Soobin’s hands… Soobin’s hands are distracting. His fingers are lithe and slender, the span of his palm a smooth map of the world, and when they meet Yeonjun’s hands he feels rather self-conscious. Not because his own hands pale in comparison to Soobin’s, no. Yeonjun is aware he has, well, pretty okay hands. But he’s been catching himself watching Soobin’s hands more than he himself would like. And when they do hold hands, or when Soobin has a hand on Yeonjun’s shoulder, he feels… it feels great. Like an anchor weighing him down, tying him to the earth when the chaos in his brain begins to blur into an all-too-overwhelming feeling he can’t put to words. Yeonjun looks at Soobin’s hands, and he looks at his own, and he wants to suppress the desire that makes itself known, but he can’t. He just can’t because he wants to have his hands in Soobin’s, and it’s not even about being held or touched.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It’s about Soobin.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>On second thought, everything about Soobin is distracting. From his lips to his height to his voice to his jokes, the way his hair moves in the wind when they’re out for a snack (the way Yeonjun’s heart flutters when he gets to see the sight), the way he dances and the way he sings, the way his heart is so full of love. And isn’t that the thing about love? Yeonjun wonders. He wants to know it like the back of his hand, hold it like it’s proudly his. And he thinks... he just thinks that when he looks at Soobin, the warm feeling that permeates his chest is want. It’s true, Soobin has a heart full of love. The boy</span>
  <em>
    <span> is</span>
  </em>
  <span> love himself, and Yeonjun thinks that’s the reason why he’s so, very easy to admire. When he looks at Soobin, he wants Soobin to look back.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He wants Soobin to love him back.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>At first, Yeonjun was never sure about being loved back. He spends nights staring at the ceiling, eyes wide open, heart in his throat, asking himself, </span>
  <em>
    <span>Is it selfish to want this? </span>
  </em>
  <span>And yet Soobin’s name is always on the tip of his tongue, just waiting to find its way out and into the ears of its owner. He wants Soobin to hear him and see him and love him, and he’s on the edge of being annoyed at himself, wishing to throw himself away, because he never has the answers, or at least the right ones. Will Soobin ever love him back this way? No. Yes. Maybe. </span>
  <em>
    <span>I don’t know. Will I ever?</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Before he explodes, he talks to someone about it. Taehyun.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>And Taehyun listens. He’s a very good listener, a very good friend, even if at first Yeonjun trips all over the words he’s saying and isn’t saying. While Yeonjun whispers his problems to him, he wrings his hands, forcing out the words with as much courage as he can muster until he doesn’t need to push anymore. It all comes tumbling out like water at some point, as easy as the tears that escape Yeonjun’s eyes.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He doesn’t realize he’s been crying until Taehyun lays a hand on his fists. Taehyun doesn’t say a word though, and Yeonjun </span>
  <em>
    <span>fears</span>
  </em>
  <span>, but he looks at his friend anyway. He’s about to ask for a response, ask why, why </span>
  <em>
    <span>him</span>
  </em>
  <span>, why </span>
  <em>
    <span>Soobin</span>
  </em>
  <span>, and he doesn’t expect Taehyun to have all the answers. That would be asking for too much. But when he looks up at Taehyun he catches a glimmer of hope. Taehyun’s eyes glint under the fluorescent light, looking right back at his stunned, tearful ones.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Maybe, just maybe, Soobin already loves him back.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Yeonjun was never really sure what love felt like. But after that moment with Taehyun, he lingers in the unknown. He becomes curious as ever, and when Soobin holds his hand, he decides not to let go as fast as he used to. Soobin looks at him, and Yeonjun looks back, and they meet halfway.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Yeonjun thinks love is tender and sweet, and it’s beautiful and wonderful and breathtaking and big. So big it doesn’t fit in his goddamn chest. So big it’s in the form of Soobin’s hands in his. So big it’s Soobin himself, the boy he loves and the boy that loves him. And when they kiss for the first time, Yeonjun swears he’s going to die. But Soobin tethers him to the world. And that’s what love is.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>That’s what love is.</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Thank you for reading!! Leaving a kudos or a comment would make me so happy, thank you!</p></blockquote></div></div>
</body>
</html>